I Just Want You To Be Happy
But really I do, and also it's not about that. Welcome.
Um. Where am I?
And who is Alexandra (or Alex? :)
And frankly what qualifies me to "coach" you?! Great questions and here is my honest answer- you are also "qualified" to coach me!...or anyone that would let you.
Coaching is not currently regulated the way that say- any medical or cognitive therapy is at the moment. That might be changing- but for now- any old person anywhere can hang a sign on their door and call themselves a coach. I want to be up front about that first and foremost for you to be aware of!
I was first drawn to coaching from a natural inclination and knack for wanting to dive deep into conversation with people to get at the root of what they are thinking about, or wanting to push through, break away from, or build in their lives. You "finally want to talk about something?" please sit...I have all day. Because I know that's where all the good stuff is.
I felt it was important to go through training to learn more about the ethics, different styles and modalities of coaching and generally things to take into consideration when counseling other humans. Also- what was different about coaching than therapy? What *kind* of coach would I want to be? How much is fair to charge? Etc
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I had found Martha Beck's Wayfinder Life Coach Training a few years prior, seen that it was an accredited program by the ICF, and thought "oh I'd love to take that, but not at that price." I was already successfully working in voiceover, frankly the term "Life Coach" was one that kind of seemed to make people roll their eyes (you know I'm right), and I wasn't in place in my family life where I felt like I could make that kind of investment in myself without a solid plan to justify the cost of the tuition.
Cut to a few years later, I find myself further on a healing path that started with quitting alcohol in 2019, and now had me smack in the middle of a divorce, and I kind of thought- Well... this too now doesn't seem like the time to invest quite a lot of money into a nine month coaching program....but- perhaps I *should* start thinking about other job opportunities, and honestly- I could probably reeeeally use some coaching myself in the upcoming year of divorce which- you know- has always been known to be easy breezy (said not one divorced person ever.)
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Martha appealed to me in short because she describes her approach as informed by research, humor, and a touch of the mystical. Soooo I'm hearing facts, funny and magic?! Yes please. I am in.
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I could talk about the Martha Beck program all day long (and we can if you'd like help deciding if you yourself might like to coach!), and it absolutely informs how I practice coaching, but as I am now out in the world practicing beyond the program, I have found a style of my own (just as I was encouraged to), that is my own specific blend of research and tools, my own life experience to draw on, humor, humor and more humor, and always... magic.
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Really I just want you to be happy DOT LIIIIIIFE (who even knew that was a thing, y'all? yes I said y'all- I'm allowed- I currently live in the south against my will) And I have news for you if you don't already know, which I suspect you do-...that's not a possible state of being to stay in. SHIT. So now what?
Well what I have learned that I actually want is the be "aligned", so now I want that for you too. What the hell does that mean? It means I want you to feel totally in flow with your life- all the ups and downs and surprises and plans and goals and smacks across the face that are never ever going to stop because guess what? That is the whole beginning, middle, and end of the game (at least as far as I can see it from my current seat.)
However you want to phrase it, life is going to keep on life-ing at you and I want you to enjoy that ride as much as possible.
And here is the deal I have done an exhausting (and joy filled!) amount of work on myself. So you don't have to! I'll tell you all the secrets! Sigh. We both know it doesn't work that way, but I'll still tell you what I've learned if you want me to. More importantly- I've also worked with many others learning so. very. many. ways. of looking at our challenges, talking about them, and from an honest and comfortable place- then trying to figure out- what do you like? What do you want? How can we start moving you toward that right now -no matter how far away it seems from you? Would you like to do that with me!? Doesn't that sound like fun?!!
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​(camera cuts to slightly stunned, very attractive and also horrified reader who is clearly wondering......why? why so many italicized words?..... and ellipsis)
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Here me out- it kind of is fun. "The work" everyone yammers on about. PARTS AT LEAST! Or at least I like to make it that way because MY GOD WHY NOT?! Ok now I'm yelling at you on my own home page so I'll stop. Hit me up if you want to learn more.
More Reasons You Might Benefit from Coaching
(aka- I would love to keep talking now that you're interested)
Well first-
Why coaching at all?
Awhile back, I had someone tell me that the amount of time I spent thinking about my life and what I wanted out of it - looked exhausting. And to that I say- ummm YAH- it is! Thinking about how you want things to change, or endlessly wondering how you might change them is so. much. more. exhausting. than actively taking steps in your life to make those changes. Coaching (different from therapy) can be the key to getting out of your head, and actively into your life, making the changes you want to experience.
Self Awareness
In order to enable personal growth and understanding, there is nothing more critical than self awareness. There is so much insight to be gained when we take an honest look at our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. This awareness empowers us to make concious choices, build healthier relationships, and improve decision making. It is incredibly hard to do this work on your own. Coaching provides the space to explore these things in a safe container, ultimately putting you back into the driver's seat of your own life.
There is No Destination
Have you ever noticed that feeling when something good happens, and then you immediately get worried that something bad is coming? That something could steal this joy from you? Great life moments are not an uncommon anxiety trigger for many of us. It’s not just you- it’s hard wired into your brain for one reason or another. Here’s the deal- life is going to be a series of so many different kinds of moments and phases and chapters. Not to be all “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey”, but also- that guy (you know, the casual Ralph Waldo Emerson name drop) was onto something. What I want for you is more ease in how you move through all the moments of your life. Through coaching, I can help arm you with tools to always have in your mental back pocket, in order to get through the hard parts and truly lean into all the goodness (without the fear that it will be taken from you.)
Life Can Be Stressful
No argument there, right? We hear this way more often than we hear people saying "You know what? Life is a damn breeze."
Stress can be overwhelming, yes, but it doesn't have to control your life. Together we can work on identifying the stressors in your life, managing them with better tools, and make more room for the expansiveness and beauty that I bet you're really wanting instead.
Letting Go of
What Isn't Working
Do you feel like something is missing? Do you wish you could figure out what’s holding you back from enjoying the life you have built for yourself? Do you wonder sometimes if it was all meant to be more beautiful than this? I know when it feels like something is “missing”, your instinct might be to add something to your life to fill that void, but I promise you more often than not, the very first step is releasing things you're holding onto (usually out of habit or fear.) Together, we can explore areas of dissatisfaction in your life and get to the root of what’s not working, so you can release it with ease.
What Lights You Up?
Maybe you instantly know the answer to this question. However, I suspect maaaany of you find that question to be overly daunting and would like to think about it....another time.
Figuring out what brings you joy, getting back to creativity the way you enjoyed it as a kid, witnessing people start to come to life from the inside again- THIS is probably my favorite part of coaching! I promise you that even if you don't know what it is right now, it's in you. Your body knows, and I'd love to help guide you toward that energy and bring more of it actively into your life.
In short- You Are Worth It
Think of someone you love very much......Got it? Ok, now if I asked you what you want most in the world for that person- what would you say?
Would you maybe say, "happiness"? Oh yay, I guessed it. And guess what- YOU deserve the very same. When we want to get our physical bodies in shape, we don't think twice about the cost of a gym, but when it comes to addressing the mental weight we carry around with us, the very stuff that gets in way of our own happiness, people often don't prioritize investing the time or resources to really look at and clean up that part of their life. We are running on autopilot, yet we expect change to happen, and then when it doesn't- we blame ourselves. Stop that pattern. Make the time and commitment to yourself to figure out what it is you want, what's getting in your way, and let me help you figure out how we can get you from here to there.
You. Are. Worth. It.